Reality Sets In

This song may be the key to my attitude since about March 1, 2010. I have come to a scary conclusion, I better enjoy life now, because very soon I'm going to be swamped with work again. I am totally prepared for this and actually even a little excited, but it doesn't mean I shouldn't take full advantage of Penn State right now. With this mindset in mind I have created my "TIIGSDBALAWI" list. (For those of you less privy to the way my mind works, that stands for "This is it Garrett, don't be a loser and waste it."

1. Don't be afraid to talk to people- Sometimes I feel like I missed the opportunity to meet even more people. I mean who knows what's out there. It's scary to go out on a limb with some people. Being a semi- Shrek like character doesn't lend itself to easily talking to everyone, but why be scared?

2. Never miss a chance to hang out with friends- Time is limited. These people may live across the country or across the street next year, nothing is set in stone. We should all vow, "When friends wanna do something, do it!"

3. Life got in the way- This pretty much sums up everything important in my last 4 weeks at school. Should I read articles and work on my bioethics paper or should I go to Mad Mex? Both seem reasonable, but really only one answer exists.

Now why is this post titled reality sets in you wonder. Well I guess its the realization that in four weeks this stage of my life will be over. This isn't a bad thing, I'm not fearful of the future, I don't want to turn back the clock; I'm ready for what is next, but for four weeks I better enjoy the stage that is ending.

Before I leave the blogosphere for a day I want to spend some time inside my head. Last night I went bowling with Derrick, Lauren, and Gena. The four of us form a pretty formidable foursome when it comes to the bowling lanes. I'm not going to say I didn't go expecting to be the best. Now expecting to be the best when breaking 100 is an accomplishment for yourself is a dangerous proposition. Having just watched The Big Lebowski I figured we would all channel our inner bowling greatness and roll a 300, but in my case this was a pipe dream. I think by the third frame my I was already staring down at my wrist (like it was its fault) or cursing under my breath (you mother fucking ball has an extremely relaxing effect). So game one 10th frame and I'm feeling like a fucking star. 100 is the wind at my back, but 12o is possible. What do I do, gutter ball on my spare pickup. AWESOME. Game 2 10th frame and now 100 is in clear site, what do i do, you guessed it gutterball. Everyone decides for game 3. I voted yes because I figured game 3 would be my coming out party. I switched balls, a nice yellow and black one. Big Ben ball I called it and I was set to rape those pins. (Too soon?) Let me tell you, it must have been my skill kicking in cuz' i finished a amazing 3rd place. Being super competitive, almost deathly competitive so this was a huge defeat. I stayed up 'till 3 am beating the shit out of virtual soccer players in FIFA. Bravo Garrett, Bravo!!!

Eargasm

Once again I find myself not posting nearly as much as I should be, but today I finally said enough is enough lets post something fun. So what do I want to talk about, first I want to thank Pitt for making me pay $35 to submit my need based financial

add material. To say that I am in desperate need of med school cash I have to pay them. Doesn't that seem just a bit counter productive. And all this so I can stay on their waitlist.

What I wanna talk about more than med school today is music. Sorta the inspiration for the name of the blog so at some point I should write about what I'm listening too, right.

Why does Passion Pit appeal to me so much. I'm not even sure if I really know. The singers voice is interesting, the beats are fun, and I can picture nothing wrong in the world when I'm listening to their songs.

Up until about 9 months ago my music tastes were broad, but within reason. If you looked at my iTunes, Dave Matthews Band had more plays than all other bands combined. Why? dMb got me through many hard times. Before These Crowded Streets will still be the album I go to when life gets to hard.

What happened in those last 9 months you ask. I don't know, but I think every bit of my life now has a song I can associate with it.

1. Dance Party Garrett

2. Chill Garrett

3. ROCK YOUR FACE OFF GARRETT

4. Future Wife

What am I trying to say here. I think everyone should listen to at least 10 songs a day. I don't care if its the same 10 songs, but music is a must. It can take you to new worlds, emotional highs and lows and give words to things you just can't explain. Don't be afraid to be that kid singing along on your way to class. Don't be afraid to be the one tapping their toes to a good beat. NEVER apologize for listening to your music too loud because your just that into it.

I'm going to try to post videos of great songs as I go. I will from now on incorporate them into my posts. Again, why? To understand me, you have to know my mindset and I can gurantee my mindset is linked to the music that shaped the event.

HOW TO GET INTO MEDICAL SCHOOL: An informative guide for those that don't have a clue

HOW TO GET INTO MEDICAL SCHOOL: An informative guide for those that don’t have a clue

Let me preface my entire argument by saying that I like to make a joke out of most situations. That doesn’t mean I don’t take things seriously, but making jokes seems easier. So throughout the entire medical school application process I found jokes to calm my nerves. This has taught me a lot about the actual process however and I would like to share those things with you. First I give do’s and dont’s. If there is no justification given later on, it is because a justification doesn’t exist; the world of medical admissions just works that way. Second I give a numbered list of strategies to get in, follow these and you are sure to be ahead of the kid that thinks student doctor is the gospel. (If you don’t know what studentdoctor.net is you are already ahead of everyone else, you should be receiving your acceptance in the mail very soon.) If you are a high school senior, this post is for you; if you are a freshman, sophomore, or even a junior in college, this post is for you; if you are a senior that hasn’t gotten in yet, this post isn’t for you; prayer is for you.

DO: Apply early

DON’T: Write your personal statement in one day

DO: Go with your gut on your personal statement. (I don’t mean tell a story about eating, all though if you could pull this off you would probably get in right away)

DO: Doubt your advisors advice. Unless they went to med school they are clueless.

DO NOT: And this I repeat, DO NOT EVER go on studentdoctor.net

DO: Listen to Vampire Weekend (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_i1xk07o4g) Do I have any evidentiary reason to believe this will help you, no! Do I still think it helped me, yes!

DON’T: Think that a 3.7 is a 4.0 because you went to a hard school OR that a 4.0 at a smaller school is equal to a 3.7; it doesn’t matter the ADCOM looks only at the number.

DO: Drink regularly (self explanatory, actually )

So there are the basic do’s and dont’s. Are they all of them? Not by any means. Heck if you can find the dean of admissions and black mail them, that is a huge DO! A don’t would be to break up with his/her daughter/son or to generally anything bad to their family. The possibilities are endless, but if you DO my suggestions I can promise you a more eventful application cycle.

Next follows my list of application things that if you do, I can absolutely guarantee you admittance. I have developed a failsafe way to score these.

Your starting score is 100% (as in 100% chance you will get in). For every one of these you will not fulfill subtract 10%; for everyone you do fulfill congratulations you get to keep your percentage points.

1. SCORE A 39 (or higher) ON THE MCAT- Yes, I know what you’re thinking “a 39, I can’t get a 39!” I didn’t say these were easy I said they guaranteed admittance. This one takes studying hard and being a huge brainaic; 2 things I am not so I crossed this off as one of my misses. I will give a break on this one though, if you scored 36-38 subtract 2%; between 33 and 35 subtract 8%; for everyone else subtract the whole 10% (sorry, unfair yes, but the truth)

2. HAVE A 4.5 GPA- “My school is only out of 4.0.” That may be true, but admissions committees don’t care. They love to see high GPA’s. 4.5 out of 4.0 is their wet dream. GPA and MCAT count towards schools ranking so don’t think it doesn’t matter. The school wants to look like it accepts only the most elite; those with the best stats. It’s not unrealistic to feel like you can’t satisfy them, so get used to it. (Again, I’d like to offer a break on this one, if you have a 3.99 to 4.49 subtract 8%; the rest of you subtract 10%; reality is a tough pill to swallow)

3. SAVE KIDS IN AFRICA- Everyone wants to have something awesome to write their personal statement about. Going to Africa and saving lives is it. (Being like Angelina and adopting them doesn’t count. I’m sorry if your “dad” is Brad Pitt you should be skipping these steps and donating a million dollars to gurantee admissions.) Did you go out and help in a clinic? Did you give clean water to a kid that otherwise wouldn’t have had it? Did you travel there and get sick requiring hospitalization? Any of these will do. Write about how you “made a difference, and it changed you” and boom 10% saved my friends.

a. You deserve further explanation on this point. Med school admissions has become so competitive you need something to make yourself standout. THIS IS IT! Now, while planning your trip to Africa you may think “Hey, Indonesia is also in need.” NO, it isn’t. Something about Africa melt’s peoples’ hearts. I don’t know what it is, but going to Africa and making a difference (albeit tiny) is like scoring a night with Miss Sexual Napalm herself, Jessica Simpson.

b. Does Haiti count? Haiti quadruple counts, add 1.2% to your current score.

c. Does Mexico City count? No subtract 15%. Your spring break trip where you helped out 2 days and laid on the beach for 5 days doesn’t work. No one is fooled.

4. APPLY EARLY- I know I already put this as a DO, but it’s really that important. The AAMC comes out June 1; submit June 2^nd. END OF STORY

5. GET GOOD LETTERS OF RECOMMENDATION- The letter from your creepy Bio teacher that throughout the semester you continually thought was not really a people person isn’t going to sell anyone on you. Qualifications for LOR: You do well in their class. You have met them at least one time (outside of a bar though, this does not count). They know your name. They can say one thing about you that doesn’t sound like it came from a form letter. You never offended them or dated one of their kids. You never called them weird or strange to their face. You did make some stupid brown-nosing comment to them. You did laugh at their bad jokes. And most importantly, you spelled their name right in the email. (This is vital. I actually added an extra “d” to my nutrition teachers name while emailing her my information. I think this probably subtracted at least one positive statement she could have made about me. (This letter remained in my folder and I was asked about the class at two interviews, YAHOO.)

6. NO SCHOOL IS A BACK-UP- This one may throw you off. You may be thinking, “My MCAT and GPA are higher than their averages.” Good for you, but guess what it does not mean you will get in. If you apply to every school you are remotely interested in, I don’t care if it is DO or MD, apply. Getting in is all that matters so apply broadly. No school is bellow you, and if you think a school is, subtract these 10% points.

7. KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT HEALTHCARE- This is basically an interview prep statement. If you are lucky enough to get an interview, don’t make a fool out of yourself. When asked, “What would you do if you were healthcare tsar?” I had to respond with, “Oh man that is a good one.” I recovered and actually think I made some good points, but never start with the fact that you are bamboozled by an interviewer’s question. If you prepare and have minimal people skills, you get this 10%. If you think Frodo Baggins is a real person and will relate anything in your interview to him or his quest with a ring, you guessed it minus 10.

8. BE POSITIVE and UNIQUE- During this application cycle I gurantee you on a weekly basis you will feel like absolute shit. You will want to quit and stop doing work. You will want to drink. You will want to listen to this crushing song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmVAWKfJ4Go&feature=related). However, if you can block out all the bad and just focus on rainbows and butterflies you are in a better place. How does this help, don’t worry about that you will realize it after you’re done. Uniqueness is important during the interviews. Don’t wear a read suit from 1970, but do be a little different. Make yourself stick out and be memorable. These people have see 700 kids who are all just as big of brown nosers as you are. I am really tall and also quite large so I follow this by wearing a big bright tie and playing on my height and the fact that I am really like a huge teddy bear. Maybe you are more like a angry, feisty raccoon. I dunno how you can make this positive, but you better.

9. VOLUNTEER IN A HOSPITAL AND SHADOW A PHYSICIAN- First, it’s just fucking cool. This is what you wanna do, if you don’t like doing this, you probably won’t like being a doctor. Second, it makes it look like you actually have interest in medicine. This is important for ADCOM’s who like to see that you have done something medicine related. I got to look like a complete idiot multiple times while doing both. While shadowing an orthopedic surgeon, he asked me what bone was broken on a X-Ray. I immediately say femur. Then I look again, and you can see the hand. I had no idea what the femur equivalent was in the arm so I just faked it and said upper arm bone. While volunteering I had to run down to get an air mattress pad for the largest human being I’ve ever seen. I wanted to hurry because two people were trying to hold this person in bed. I go running down the stair and boom right into a food tray. Bam food is everywhere; mashed potatoes are on my scrub top and ham is on my leg. Green jello lined my arm, and on the side was a 50 something year old lady cursing be out. My head killed and I was quite embarrassed, but I got up apologized and continued on my quest for the air pad. 25 minutes after I left I get back. They found a pad in the room next door, but as I enter the lady asks, “What happened to you?” I told her about the food tray and she responded with, “Oh well my mashed potatoes and ham are late, I wonder if that’s why?”

10. JOIN A CLUB and DO RESEARCH- To finish off this list I will go with two things I didn’t do that really, really hurt me. Research makes you look like you love the pursuit of knowledge. In reality you may wash petri dishes or do menial tasks, but if you can get your name on a paper, no one will know that you were basically free janitorial staff. If you are lucky enough to find a lab you like and do something, stick with it. If you don’t like it, find someone who will take you on and do it for a year. It is EXTREMELY important. That is all I can say about it. Regarding joining a club, DO IT. I don’t care if it’s the special committee on getting a curling rink at your college. Join it and go a few times. Make some friends, and get put it as an activity. It will improve your chances and give you something to talk about. I had to talk about high school basketball, which I love, but also made me look like I was living in 2006. Show them that you cared about something over the past 4 years other then studying and partying.

BREAKDOWN OF SCORES-

100%- You’re getting in somewhere, I don’t know where, but you are getting in!!! Be excited!

99-90%- You should get in somewhere, but it’s no longer a guarantee. I say this with the caveat that you are still a successful person, but admissions is a weird thing and no one really knows.

89%-69%- This is the area I’d love to say you are in good position, but you aren’t. Start telling your friends to apply to all the Ivy’s and Hopkins while you shoot for any other remaining schools. Apply to good schools, you never know, but be a little nervous.

68%-45%- ABSOLUTELY GURANTEED you get admitted if you are an underrepresented minority or want to go into a family medicine program only. For any other reason, pray hard and kill your interviews. And by kill, I mean do well; killing your interviewer is a big no, no.

Below 45%- You still have a great shot. Heck about 70% of applicants and 60% of accepted come from this group, but god is it scary.

GOOD LUCK if you are applying, if you already applied and got in you will know that all of these things are true and that there is no rhyme or reason to getting accepted and I hope you got a laugh out of this. I will be writing more and more and try to make more consistent posts.

Things to think about

Today started like any other Thursday; I woke up, took a shower, ate half a bagel (diets really are a bitch), and packed up for class. This is were my thoughts went awry. In class we were talking about the universe. Time is so inconsequential to the universe, but it is not to us. What types of cars would they be driving in 50 years, 100 years, 1000 years I wondered. Basically, I thought about everything that a person of 22 years should not worry about. Basically it sums to what happens when your dead, and why can't I live forever? The enormity of these questions seemed to dampen my spirit, but I did come to some absolutely life changing conclusions:

1. Living forever would be confusing to people that know you. How could you explain to your wife that you were going to be around forever? They would think you were crazy and being crazy always leads to problem.

2. Would your age arrest at lets say 35 or would you live forever, but also get more and more wrinkly and ancient looking? I can see my self being a half decent looking 35 year old (refer to eating one half a bagel above for my confidence in this thought), but not an attractive old man. This in itself is enough to make me want to age like everyone else.

These two thoughts are the best I could put together at the time, but I will need to make a list of pros and cons. It's not unfathomable to think that someday a drug will allow human life spans to expand, but would you want to take it?

By the end of my first class I felt like I had done battle with a large porcupine. A porcupine you ask, well let me tell you a large porcupine would definitely something to fear.

I think a change in color font will also change my mindset. I want to talk a little bit about the application process to medical school. When I came to Penn State I was 99.9% sure I wanted to become a doctor. I had no idea what this would entail really, but I knew that I was destined to be Dr. Keim. Now three and a half years later, all my applications are in and I wait. If you get an early acceptance your golden. School seems like a formality for the rest of the year, and you can enjoy the fact that you are one of the lucky few. Those of us not so fortunate have to still do work (minimal work at best, but still work) and pray every day that you will get in. I don't really know how I feel about G-d, (the fact that I still don't type the "o" must bode well for me if some supreme being is up there; I reserve the right to that little slice of belief) yet G-d seems to be about the only thing you can hope for in this process.

Here is a summary of almost everyone's application:

4.5/4.0 GPA *a very select few can go over the 4.0, those people are who normal applicants compete against

33Q *Score one for Garrett

Saved kids in Africa *I tried to combat this by volunteering to save all the loner beers at parties. I feel like this brought good karma from the King, the King of Beers that is

Research *I like to think preparing for March Madness by watching hours of college basketball are more intensive research then cleaning petri dishes, but unfortunately most medical schools don't accept my rational.

***Most people have much more on their application, I didn't really so that could be the root of all my problems, but as of now I'm putting it on the fact that I had to wear black shoes with my blue suit. My dad and mom told me it was okay, but I feel like the shoes sucked my mojo out. I can see the interviewer now.

"This kid is huge. Nice suit though, very stylish. His application looks good, his personal statement is heartbreaking, his, his, his shoes are black... Black shoes with a blue suit, this kid is clearly not qualified to come to ___________________ (insert school name here)."

If this thought has not occurred in my interviewers minds, I am totally lost for words. New shoes are my key to success at my next interview.

One last thought for the day...

I'm going to try to daily have a band or song you should be listening to. Today I have a song for you Rthm n' Soul by Spoon.

Passion Pit

I kept reading about this band Passion Pit. I think to myself what a stupid name. Who wants to have passion in a pit. I wanna have passion on a cruise ship or at the bare minimum my bed, but a pit? Sounds about as un fun as passion can be. The band however kept getting rave reviews. I finally broke down and "got" the CD. "Got" will be my term for the semi illegal practice of torrenting. After listening to the album I understand where Passion Pit comes from. Something in my pit said I should have a passion for the album "Manners." It's catchy and rocking. I'm still in the honey moon phase with the album, and the honey moon phase is always dangerous. I'm pretty sure that I will stay enamored with the album though which allows me to write about it. I highly suggest giving the album a spin.

A FEW KEY TRACKS

To Kingdom Come

Make Light

On a side note, I would like to thank the people of Massachusetts for their intelligence. You have the chance to honor Ted

Kennedy, but instead you decide to shoot America in the foot. If Ted could roll over in his grave, he did, (he also probably

threw up, swore, kicked dirt at the ump, and got a technical foul all in the span of 45 seconds.) I also felt like throwing up,

but I used my time more wisely, I thought of ways to turn Jack Bauer against the new senator. I came up with a few ideas.

The most likely is that the Senator wants to get in Kim Bauer's pants and Jack must stop him and then expose him to the

world. (The key to this scenario is that EVERYONE wants in Kim's pants so framing him won't be the hardest task ever.)

Welcome to the Blogoshpere

Well, I guess I should start where I started. Barb and Fran Keim made a beautiful young boy in the summer of 1987. Since then I have travelled the world (and by world I mean all over PA and even a bit of New York) and learned a lot about a lot. This blog is my chance to share my experiences as I finish up at Penn State and (hopefully) start medical school. I say hopefully because currently I'm in one of those ruts rarely experienced by human beings. If I get another waitlist I will have a gaggle of them and my head may explode. At least if my head exploded I would be talked about in med school classes. Anyways, back to the point at hand; I want this blog to be interesting and almost always comedic. I will talk about my random thoughts, my med school application process (this will be the slightly depressing humor that I am good at) and a lot about music. I have a passion for good music so I figure why not share. So here we go I hope you enjoy the ride. To start things off, I'll state that my favorite bands are DMB and Radiohead.